Blog Post 11 (July 6-11) Power Relations and Children

The main discussion this week is about power balance in the family. In my family I feel very blessed to have a husband who supports me. We are a team, we work together, discuss together, and plan our lives out together.

I don’t think this means that we can’t be individuals, because we must be, but that is exactly where the balance of power comes in. We are able to be free to do what we want to, but we have the support of our spouse to do what we can.

I am a firm believer in traditional roles. My husband is the bread-winner, I am the homemaker. Right now, though, we have a strange situation in that I am lucky enough to be able to stay home and work at the same time. It was a miracle for us because my husband didn’t get his job until this spring and so he was doing full-time school and I was working. And now, I get to be a stay-at-hom

e mom. And, as soon as we don’t need this job any more I will work full-time as a mom.

In light of this, it is important to note that my husband is supportive, and not domineering. There is nothing of the tyrant in him, even though we both agree he is to be the bread-winner. He is the leader of the home, because he has the priesthood, but we are equal partners in all we do.

Another key is that we are the parents, not the babysitters. We plan to raise our children with the idea that they are not the boss, we are. I don’t think it is healthy to let children run the home, and it isn’t healthy to control them with an iron fist, either. We want our children to feel that they have a say in matters, without feeling they own the place.

These ideas were all supported by Richard Miller in his talk “Who is the Boss?” I especially loved the part where he talks about the priesthood being a key to serving, not servitude. I appreciate my husband and his role as head, but he also recognizes me as someone he loves and serves. I am grateful for my husband and the wonderful blessing he is!

Miller, R., “Who Is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families.” BYU Conference on Family Life, Brigham Young University, March 28, 2009.